I’m in a funk today, so I am going to brain dump here… I haven’t been running for two days. I have been extremely fatigued lately and I’m not sure why—there’s a myriad of possible reasons, but for the moment, it will remain a mystery. I set an alarm to wake up early and get out for a long run this morning. My alarm went off, and I was too tired to get up. I decided that it would be okay to sleep a little longer and go a little later. Unexpectedly, however, my husband was up and showering a little after six. I found out that he is finally feeling better after his chemo treatment on Thursday and had decided to go to football camp. He said that he would be back around 11. This completely derailed me. I know it shouldn’t have, but it did. My plan for the morning was to get up and run, then come home and shower and try to be productive. My expectations for the day had to change, I did not adjust well. That meant that I would have to run after 11, not first thing. Which means that I wo...
Today I turned 37, and leading up to this day, Vincent Van Gogh has been weighing heavily in my mind. Vincent Van Gogh painted for ten years of his life and during that time he produced “860 complete oil paintings… 1,240… watercolor paintings, sketches and prints… and he wrote more than 900 letters” (Ramsey 138). The year that Vincent turned 37, he was on track to complete around 200 works of art, but stopped at 108, because... he killed himself. I often lament that I have not accomplished all the creative endeavors that live along with Vincent in my mind. I am still dreaming more than doing. I have too many words that will go unsaid and unwritten. Paintings that will go unpainted. Pictures that go unprinted. Questions that go unasked. Gardens that remain unplanted. Exotic places that remain unvisited. Dance choreography that will never see the light of day, and movement in my body that may never be expressed. As I have started the process to write this birthday reflection, I have ...